Fireworks, Nyama Choma & Forgotten Exes: How I Ushered in 2026
Happy New Year to you, my esteemed readers.
Before we go any further, allow me to issue a public service announcement: if you have New Year resolutions, kindly keep them to yourself. Experience has shown that the moment you announce them, the universe cancels them with immediate effect.
Now that we are clear on that, let me do what I came here to do—tell you sweet nothing stories. After all, that is my ministry, and 2026 is no exception.
On the eve of ushering in the new year, I accepted an invitation to what is now officially my soon-to-be favourite joint: Aquadel Carwash and Auto Spa. And in the immortal words and tone of King’ang’i the radio presenter, let me tell you Maina—it was fireworks. Literally.
Let’s start from the beginning.
On 31st December, the very last day of the year, my friend and sometimes boss (depending on the mood), Mr. Bloko, found me minding my own business at my humble chilling spot pale Mikocheni. As cheerful as ever, he invited me to their New Year’s bash pale kwa carwash yao.
Now, you know me. Sikataangi wito—I don’t refuse invitations. An hour to midnight, I made my grand entourage to the venue, accompanied by my sister in crime, Winnie Mras. Bless you, sister.
The arrival at Aquadel, though impromptu, was worth every second. I was welcomed by meat. Not just meat—unlimited meat. My friends, nilikula nyama ikanizidi. Even when Bloko tried convincing me to kutema jaba and attack the well-roasted nyama choma, I politely declined. I was fully full—like Abduba Dida, I only had space left for water and air.
Present in the vicinity was Mr. Alex Muguna, and I also had the honour of meeting the chairman’s charming better half, as well as Bloko’s spouse, who firmly instructed me to refer to her as Mrs. Mwesh Bloko. Bless you too, Mama yao.
Now, being among big shots requires discipline and decorum. I behaved. Despite the free food and free water, I declined the free water and instead bought myself a litre of Aquadel Drinking Water—to support my friend’s business. Small gesture, big heart. And let me tell you, that water works miracles. I was satisfied.
Fast forward.
I was not about to spend my entire New Year’s night in one location—journalistic duty called. A few minutes past 1AM, after soaking in the good company at Aquadel Carwash and Auto Spa, I headed to Makutano to collect content for you, my people. That is my duty, isn’t it?
Makutano was colour, chaos, vibes, and even more fireworks. I met forgotten histories—also known as desperate exes. I made a very strong resolution right there and then: to leave them exactly where I found them—in the past. I pray to the gods to grant me the same grace throughout 2026.
I celebrated my year. I made peace with whoever wanted peace with me. And after all was said and danced, I went home at exactly 5AM—high as a kite.
As I conclude, I will not bore you with New Year resolutions. I have delegated that responsibility to the higher powers that be. But there is one thing I must state clearly, in black and white:
In 2026, I will treat you exactly the way you treat me. No special treatment. No discounts.
That said, I love you all.
Whether you clicked on this blog hoping I gossiped about you, because you love me, or because you hate-read—I appreciate you. From me, you get nothing but love.
I wish you nothing but the very best in 2026.
Inshallah.
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About the Author
Felix Kinyua is a storyteller, observer of life, and professional mind-your-business advocate. He writes with humour, satire, and unapologetic honesty, blending street wisdom with real-life experiences. When not attending impromptu events or dodging forgotten histories, he is busy turning everyday moments into stories worth reading.
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