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Aquadel Declares Public Holiday As Arsenal Fans Prepare For Emotional Damage Against PSG

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A poster of the Aquadel’s Sponsored Watch party event.  Design by Felix Kinyua.  My dear readers, if there is one thing I have learnt in this life, it is that fate works in mysterious ways. One day you are peacefully washing your Probox at Aquadel, the next day you are planning to sacrifice a goat because Arsenal has finally remembered the Champions League exists. And ladies and gentlemen, after 22 years of waiting, praying, fasting, crying, suffering, trusting the process, and posting “Next Season Is Ours” every August, Arsenal fans are now staring at destiny itself. Some people have waited for land title deeds. Others for serikali jobs. Arsenal fans? They have waited for European glory longer than some marriages survive. But this story is not just about Arsenal. No. This is about football powered by the only place in Meru where miracles, nyama choma, pressure washers, and entertainment coexist peacefully — Aquadel Carwash and Auto Spa. Now listen carefully because Bwana Blok...

Arsenal, Goat Meat & Delusions: Aquadel’s Champions League Watch Party Promises Chaos and Happiness

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A Poster of the Aquadel Carwash and Auto Spa Champions league finals watch party event. Designed by Felix Kinyua.  There are only two things in this world capable of giving me unexplainable joy. The first one is Arsenal Football Club — yes, the newly crowned Premier League champions. Mimi ni Arsenali damu na mifupa. At this point even my bloodstream is probably red and white. The second thing, which honestly comes dangerously close to Arsenal in my heart, is Aquadel Carwash and Auto Spa events under the leadership of my good friend Patrick Rungu alias Bloko — a loyal Manchester United supporter currently surviving on memories and old YouTube highlights. Now, before you ask how an Arsenal fan and a Manchester United fan can coexist peacefully, let me remind you that miracles happen every day. Especially at Aquadel. The reason these two entities rank highly in matters fun is simple: consistency. Just like Arsenal this season, Aquadel never misses. Kila siku ni form. No off days. No e...

Safiri Salama, Shosh Sarah — The Woman Who Raised a Village Idiot Into a Storyteller

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Shosh Sarah Mpinda Nkubitu. Photo/Samuel Kaimenyi-Facebook. My dearest readers, today I take a short commercial break from my usual storytelling chaos to pay tribute to a very special woman — my grandmother, the legendary Shosh Sarah Mpinda Nkubitu. This week, I received the heartbreaking news of her passing. For days, I disappeared indoors like a politician after losing elections — no calls, no jokes, no social life, just me, memories, and occasional dramatic sighs while staring at the ceiling. But now that I’ve slowly accepted the reality, I feel compelled to tell you about the Shosh I knew. You see, I spent most of my infancy with my grandmother from the age of zero to almost six years old. In fact, at that tender age, I genuinely believed I was Shosh’s lastborn child. Why? Because she was all I knew. The woman practically raised me with one hand while carrying firewood with the other. And from her, I learned the purest form of love — unconditional love. The kind of love where someo...

G-Maggie, Ken Wesley & Rafiki Wa Stima: The Battle of Clout

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  G-Maggie, The only man in Meru whose mask causes more panic than fuel prices. Photo/G-Maggie, Facebook.  Hello my good people and die-hard readers. And for Arsenal fans… salamu ni tofauti kabisa. I hope mko “Budapest” watu wangu wa Arsenali. Stay strong, brighter days are loading… maybe. Now, this post is not about football. This one is about three men, one mask, one keyboard, and enough Facebook drama to qualify for a Netflix documentary. Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to the latest episode of “Meru Online Wars.” This past week, Meru Facebook groups have been hotter than tea at a chama meeting. The battlefield? A three-way online wrestling match featuring: G-Maggie Wa Meru — masked boda boda rider, activist, and Meru’s unofficial Batman. Ken Wesley — blogger, commentator, and part-time online FBI investigator. Rafiki Wa Stima Untamed — motivational speaker for chaos and supplier of mysterious threats. The Man Behind The Mask At the center of the storm is G-Maggie, the now-fa...

Cue Sticks, Cold Revenge & Vanishing Nairobians: A Night at Aquadel

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Meru Team displays their trophy after winning the Aquadel Sponsored Pool Tournament at Aquadel’s Carwash and Auto Spa. Photo/Felix Kinyua. Happy Labour Day weekend, dear readers. I won’t insult you by asking how your weekend was—because, frankly, it probably wasn’t anywhere near mine. And now that the hangover has respectfully vacated your system, allow me to explain why. After what felt like a national waiting period (kuwachocha for centuries), Aquadel’s Pool Table Tournament finally happened. And if you missed it—my friend—today will be a difficult day for you. Not because of anything you did, but because of everything you didn’t experience. You see, Aquadel events are like petrol in today’s economy—rare, valuable, and when they show up, everybody scrambles. The Arrival Pool lovers casually chill as they wait for the tournament to begin. Photo/Felix Kinyua. I pulled up at Aquadel’s Carwash and Auto Spa slightly past 5 PM, thinking I was fashionably late. Rookie mistake. The place was...

If You Miss This, Blame Your Busy Life: Inside Meru’s Most Unbothered Pool Tournament

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Fans following a game at a previous Edition of Aquadel’s Pool Tournament. PHOTO/Felix Kinyua. As a dependable Meru-based freelance journalist (read: permanently busy and selectively available), my calendar is usually tighter than a drum at a church fundraiser. The only loophole in this madness is the occasional escape to Makutano’s backstreets—yes, the unofficial headquarters of stories, characters, and the sacred art of mushene ya Meru. Before you ask, yes—everything I do there is strictly legal. I just happen to meet very interesting people in very interesting places. Don’t act surprised. Makutano is the capital of Meru, whether Google Maps agrees or not. Now, because of this ever-demanding schedule, many events pass me by unnoticed. That was until I discovered Aquadel’s Pool Table Tournaments—the one event that refuses to be ignored. And judging by how they sell out faster than cheap plots in Timau, I’m clearly not the only one paying attention. Let me paint the picture for you. Aqu...

Twice Bitten by Kwa Murugi’s — A Weekend Chronicle of Work, Wine, and Wild Darts

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From Left Mr. Mutuma, Ms. Murugi, Captain Lewis and the Event winner Evans Kathunkumi.  Photo/Felix Kinyua .  If there’s one thing about my weekends, it’s that they refuse to behave. They come with plot twists, surprise characters, and enough drama to qualify for a Netflix deal. Naturally, I look forward to them like a politician looks forward to campaign season. Now, let’s rewind. The week leading up to this masterpiece of a weekend? Brutal. My boss—may blessings locate him—decided that idle hands were not just the devil’s workshop, but apparently also my personal brand. Every hour was accounted for. I worked. I sweated. I survived. Barely. But as the wise philosophers once said, “All work and no play makes Jack a very boring WhatsApp status.” So on Saturday, balance had to be restored. The Warm-Up: Cobra’s Place Before the main event, there was a “pre-game”—you know, the kind that pretends to be casual but is actually a full dress rehearsal for chaos. My good friend Kevo and...