I Am a Rain Caller — Yours in Truth and Gossip

The Rainbird is mythically associated with summoning rain. Photo/Facebook. 

Ladies and gentlemen,

I, yours in truth and gossip, have come to a final conclusion: I am a rain caller.

Yes, you heard me right. The universe, in its mysterious humour, has confirmed this not once, not twice, but on several occasions — I am one of those rare African souls chosen to sense the rain before the season even begins.

And no, hii si story ya jaba.

This one comes straight from the ancestors and a few visits to the pharmacy.

You see, in Kenya, we all know the drill — two rainy seasons: short and long. We studied that in geography. But what they never told us in class is that there are people walking among us who can actually feel the rain coming. Not smell — feel.  I happen to be one of those blessed (or cursed?) few.

For years I thought it was coincidence, but the signs were always there. Every time the rains are about to start, I fall sick — a proper flu that knocks me down like a bag of wet maize. I’ve been through this pattern since I was a kid. A week before the rains, boom! I’m sick. Then, two or three days after the first heavy downpour, I’m magically healed.

At first, I blamed the weather. Then, I blamed malaria. Then, I realized — maybe this is bigger than Panadol. Maybe it’s destiny. Maybe I’m the chosen one — the rain caller of our generation.

Even during the great El Niño of 1998, I remember — I was sick as a goat just before the floods hit. Since then, every year, my body seems to have a direct connection with the clouds. It’s like I get the first SMS alert from the heavens before the rest of you even see thunder.

So yes, to my boss — I owe an apology. I had promised extra hours this week, and I meant it. But the rain gods had other plans. I’ve been down with the usual flu, lying low like an envelope. It wasn’t laziness, far from it. You know my work ethic. But some battles are beyond mortal control.

Now that the rains have started pounding, I’m already feeling better — proof that duty was fulfilled.

Maybe it’s a curse. Maybe it’s a calling. But if my brief illness is the sacrifice my clan must pay for a good harvest, then so be it.

I am Felix, son of the soil — rain caller, flu survivor, and humble servant of the weather gods.

About the Author

Felix Kinyua is a Kenyan storyteller, office comedian, and part-time rain prophet. Known for his sharp wit and suspicious flu timing, he chronicles everyday life with humour, honesty, and a touch of ancestral mystery.