Classmate Ama Sponsor? Mnataka Nicheke Nikiwa Wapi?

Kimani Maruge, ndiye ako na history ya kuwa classmate mzee zaidi dunia nzima. Picha kwa hisani ya BBC.

Knock knock… ladies, gentlemen, na wale wengine tunawapenda pia.

By now najua mna hamu ya kuskia story ingine kutoka kwangu. Na kama kawaida, mimi sitawanyima. So hapa iko. Sasa, mimi si Genz bana… si hata karibu. Mimi ni focused millennial, lakini niko na appetite ya Gen Z (ukipata joke umepata, ukikosa... si vibaya kuuliza).

Ni kama nimekua nikitoroka age yangu. Uso yangu iko na passport ya 20s, lakini kwa roho najua nimeshaingia third floor.

Sasa siku moja, kwenye maadventures zangu za kawaida hapa Makutano (najua mnaijua), nikapatana na mtu. Alinipa reality check kali hadi nikaanza kujiuliza kama ni time nichukue life serious. But again, sitaki kueleza sana. I’m an adult… ama mimi si?

Sasa niko joint flani ya mtaa, pale social spot, najichochat na wale wamevuta mbili tatu. Kama kawaida, mimi na-drop knowledge tu – unajua vile nawasha akili kwa watu already wasted. Halafu ghafla bin vu, anaingia dame. Sasa kwa cheeky self yangu, nawhisper kwa Genz friend wangu: “Oza, unataka sponsor?” (Tusiigeuke watakatifu hapa, tunajua sponsor ni nini).

But surprise surprise, huyo "sponsor" ananiangalia! Ile stare ya kukufanya uanze ku-check messages zako – maybe nilitusi mtu wa Subaru ama niliandika kitu government haikupenda. Saa zingine blog za kusema ukweli huleta balaa.

Anaendelea kunitazama. Mimi nimeshtuka. My brain ilikuwa ready kukimbia, lakini kabla sijasimama, dame ananiendea polepole… na guess what ananiambia?

“Classmate.”

Eish! CLASSMATE?! Mimi nashindwa. Huyu si ule dame tulikua na yeye primary? I mean, yes nilikuwa top candidate – hiyo ni fact, si bragging – lakini huyu amechange hadi nikamfikiria ni sponsor wa team mafisi.

Ananiambia ako na watoto wanne na alikuwa nje kidogo na Mzee. Alitumia hiyo word: Mzee. Sasa we uliza mimi ni how old? Hadi nikajiangalia kwa kioo kama bado niko fresh.

So sasa pressure iko juu. Niendelee kuchill na marafiki wangu wa Gen Z, ama niingie chama ya wazee? Sasa nianze kuvaa shati za kitenge na kusema “Hii kizazi imepotoka”?

Juu ya jokes, wacha niwachee hivi:

Msiponitoa soko mapema, ntapigia Kasongo kura.

Lakini vile vile, nitaoa nikitaka, si kwa pressure zenu.

Na hivyo, my wonderful readers, ndio mahubiri ya leo.

Chekeni, share, na mkumbuke – classmate na sponsor wanaweza kuwa mtu mmoja. Life is wild! 😄

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About the Author:

Felix Kinyua is a freelance journalist with a Bachelor's degree in Mass Communication and Media and a Master's in Public Policy and Administration. He blends sharp storytelling with a touch of satire, capturing everyday moments with humor and insight.