Talking Stage Billing: The New Hustle in Town

A picture a man holding Kenyan Bank Notes. Photo/Getty images

Ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls, tushosh na tuguka! Gather around because there’s a new trend shaking the dating streets like a boda boda on a rocky road. It’s called Talking Stage Billing, and it’s turning first dates into financial transactions faster than you can say "babe, send me fare."

Now, I wouldn’t be telling you this if I hadn’t experienced it firsthand. Multiple times. In fact, at this point, I should probably start an online support group for victims. Picture this: You meet a beautiful lady, and things seem to be going well—laughter, flirtation, maybe even a little romantic tension. Then, like clockwork, the conversation takes a sharp left turn:

“Babe, can you send me fare?”

Or worse,

“Hey, I need to do my nails, you got me?”

Before you can even process what just happened, you're being hit with requests for salon money, Uber fare, and some suspicious "emergency" that needs urgent funding. I mean, at this rate, I might as well start my own SACCO for talking stage donations!

Love or Business Venture?

This generation has taken the age-old concept of romance and turned it into a full-time economic activity. Love is no longer a mutual exchange of emotions; it’s a pay-to-play arrangement. If you can’t keep up with the financial demands, you’re swiftly left on read. Young men without deep pockets are now ghosting relationships before they even begin, while older, more financially secure “investors” (ahem, wazees) enjoy the perks of dating with the right ‘capital.’

The narrative has shifted so drastically that if you lack money, your best bet is to develop other... let’s just say, "alternative talents." Otherwise, you're sidelined faster than a struggling football club after a bad season. Women will argue that all good men have money, but let’s be real—not all rich men are good, and not all good men are rich.

The Irony of the Deadbeat Dad Debate

A few days ago, I wrote about *Useless Thing I Got My Baby* (you can read it [here](https://merudailies.blogspot.com/2025/03/the-useless-thing-i-got-my-baby.html?m=1)), where I touched on the never-ending debate about deadbeat dads. Ironically, some of these so-called deadbeats actually paid their dues—quite literally. They footed the talking stage bills, probably even paid for that infamous "morning after" plan, and now, when reality hits, they vanish into thin air. Is it right? No. But can you really blame them after months of treating love like a Kickstarter campaign?

Love is Not Rocket Science—Let’s Not Complicate It

Look, folks, love doesn’t have to be this complicated. It’s not an advanced calculus problem or a government procurement tender. It’s supposed to be simple—two people connecting, vibing, and seeing where it goes. When money becomes the foundation of romance, we’re no longer dating—we’re negotiating contracts.

So, to my fellow men out there, next time you sense a "talking stage billing" incoming, run. Or better yet, invoice her back for emotional labor. And to the ladies, let’s retire this trend. Love should be a feeling, not a funding request.

Thank you for coming to my TED Talk.

*************************

About the Author: Felix Kinyua

Felix Kinyua is a seasoned freelance journalist with a sharp eye for societal trends and a knack for storytelling. Armed with a degree in Communication and Media and an MA in Public Policy and Administration, he blends insightful analysis with a touch of humor to unpack modern-day realities. Whether tackling serious policy matters or dissecting the latest dating trends, Felix delivers thought-provoking content that sparks conversations and challenges perspectives.