A Letter to My Brother Stephen

 

When I think about you, I think about us. I think about the past we have had, the present we are at, and the glorious future we have always wished for. Photo/Felix Kinyua archives.

To Stephen M Somebody it

Po Box, somewhere Kenya.

8/23/2021.

Dear Bro Stevo,

I would have loved to start the letter like the old days by asking if you are fine or doing well and that entire school work format you obviously know about. But that would be irony and I don’t want to mock you bro, I know you are not fine and not doing well too. Yes, a lot of other people know too bro and more will know after you read this letter.

Despite of all they are saying about you bro, I know you will. I know you don’t have a smartphone at the moment but I also know you still have ways of accessing information on trending topics and social media gossip. Or how did you come to know about baby Leon when last time we saw each other was 6 months ago?

Kaka, over the weekend I met with a former comrade and after some rounds he reminded me about my hay days, how good of a writer I was and how him and other comrades used to enjoy my articles. I promised him I will soon start writing again. So, I would have called you and talked everything over the phone, but I want you to have the letter. I am writing the letter so that when the cloud settles again on our side, you will read and go through it with a smile just like the good old days.

Remember the old days, when we would attend concerts such as this? Photo/Felix Kinyua archives.

Well, I know by now you are so curious to know what other people know. Judging from my observations and what they are saying behind your back, I would say they think they know a lot but they actually don’t know anything. Bro, what hurt me more is them blaming something for your condition. I know it’s not true bro. I am certain of that because I have gone through almost similar events in my life too. And don’t say anything about genes bro!

Remember back in 2019? I had the same problem too. I hit my lowest low after we broke up with that Murang’a girl. My signs and symptoms were similar to yours. You know what they said about me back then? They said I was bewitched, some even mocked me by saying I was a Masters graduate but begging and yet others accused me of stealing their items. Bro, you know me well, and I trust given an opportunity you would vouch for my honesty is the best policy behavior.

Back then, I did not know what was happening to me. Within a short period of time, I made decisions, decisions that I still think were far-fetched bro, decisions you would call crazy bro. 

I quit my job, lost valuable equipment, sold everything I had and moved out to a different town. I was always dirty, having sleepless nights, heavy smoking and within that period of time I moved from something to nothing pretty fast.

 But, I was not crazy bro. I just was suffering from a disease, a disease that many people don’t want to talk about in public, or they think it’s a shame you should know you are sick bro, but the good news bro is that it is curable, I was suffering from a mental health disease, and they said it was called depression.

I would love to let you know; I am doing my best to try and get you the cure or at least someone who can. But you know the cure is also expensive bro, they have made it so expensive so that people like you and me who carry our lives inside our pockets won’t afford it. Well, if you don’t believe me, why did that Church chase us out of that orphanage that we called Home for years, to open a rehabilitation center for the rich kids in the neighborhood? I know this is also one of the reasons you are also sick bro.

I know just like me you also got memories of us growing, the 32 of us. Apart from our names, they had given us those numbers, and yours was number one because you were the youngest. But despite being the youngest, you had brains that most of the older brothers and sisters did not have. You created things, had this amazing ideas about how you want your life to be, big dreams. You were friends with opinion makers, very active in religious activities and a very productive peer influencer. Like me we both wanted the fine things in life. I know you followed your course just like I did with mine bro. I know you are not a person to give up.

I remember back after we were chased from the Home by the Church as Adam and Eve were chased from the Garden of Eden by God, only this time the god wanted to start a business on the garden.

You did not give up, you went back to high school after four years and you came out with that certificate, I know they say it is not so important, but we both know it is. And you proofed that.

I am saddened bro, I am not happy. I am not happy especially with that church, even after they chased us from the Garden of Eden they are passing you by the roadside with tinted cars. They pretend they don’t know you now, even that KAJ teacher who used to prepare us to sing for the visitors until we were teenagers pretend to not know you. People we said were family we cannot trace them.

 Remember how we used to sing for them on Sundays? How we made the Church warm by choreographed dances? How many plays did we feature in for them? How many church trophies did we win for them_ countless? Well, but they still kicked us out after the sponsors had built us those magnificent structures and closed on loopholes to steal our monies.

What was the reason again? The land belonged to them nonsense? You would expect as a way of apologizing to you for these past atrocities they can at least treat you at our Home which is now a rehabilitation center. But they are watching you waste away bro, and they are gladly singing Hallelujah and waiting for Christ. Hypocrites!

Hold on brother, the good news is, that health condition can be treated. I know we don’t have much, actually we don’t have anything in terms of money, and we live from inside our pockets bro. But we have something they don’t, we have survived the worst ordeals in life to be here. We have done that because we are talented, we have creativity, we are unique and we will always have our ways to make our voices heard. We will find that way bro, even if it means getting to Muigai himself.

By the way, about that friend who asked me if I could start to write again? I thought about my previous work and some of the troubles it has caused me. The First article I did back in college, it was about some fake socialites, the ladies who thought I was referring to them went out and said I was a Chokora Masquerading as a Blogger, as if being a chokora limits you from becoming a blogger, I thought they lacked in brains. But bro, you know I love writing. I do it all the time. I always love my readers to explore my world through writing. I am doing it not just for entertainment but for a good course too but like always controversy is never too far behind for me.

We will talk soon bro, just hold on. We are looking for help.

Get well soon,

Bro Felloh.

Felixkinyua35@gmail.com